This blog is boring. So is summer.

I'm so bored. I've resorted to checking and re-checking facebook and looking up everything I can think of on GoogleEarth.


Also, I'm pissed because Family Fued Online Party has mysteriously disappeared from my computer. EDIT: Nevermind. Found it. phew.

Maybe I should start studying for comps. :/


To ease my boredom and yours, here is a picture of my mom shooting my nephew in the head with the hose. I think it's funny.

the only thing i could do was to think up the most irrational and childish thoughts in 2 minute period to somehow take up enough page space to remove

any mention or note of harry fuckhead on this space because there is no way in hell i will ever tolerate the enjoyment of a homosexual wannabe wizard and his small circle of asexual asshole comrades. lampshades dishwashers and tricycles. take that and shove it up your ass richard gere. there is no way im letting you leave here with that, and you can take that to the bank. i seen this movie once and they had kids doing drugs in it. it was bad. four score and shut the fuck up already. font size = how much longer does this have to go on? telephone booth - whats the point. there is a pirate duck among us and his name is. anchors away gentlemen, there is much gold in them thar bath waters. i think your bluffing. hulkamania baby. i think motorcycles are stupid. i think people who ride them are stuipder. stupider. cinderella cinderella. i hit this cow in the face once, and it didn't moo at me. i bite my fingernails. lampshade. said that already i guess. ice ice baby - stop collaborate and listen ice is back with my brand new invention something grabs a hold of me tightly then i flow like a harpoon daily and nightly will it ever stop yo i dont know turn off the lights and i'll glow to the extreme i rock a mic like a vandal light up a stage a wax a chump like a candle dance. people say the fucking captain pirate duck will stare at you with his one good eye until you turn to corona which he is also supposedly a huge fan of.


this just in:

amateur sketch of suspected captain pirate duck!!!






i'm not exactly sure about the horns... my anonymous source who wanted to remain my anonymous source kept screaming something about "el diablo el diablo" -
i dont fuckin know.

That's right. I'm posting this and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

I can't even begin to explain how excited I am about the month of July this year! Fireworks, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix the movie, a new nephew, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows the book, and finishing my LAST CLASS OF GRAD SCHOOL! How can one person handle so much in the span of a mere 31 days!? *screamslikea12yearoldgirlataKellyClarksonconcert*





(If any of you punks even THINK about telling me what happens in The Deathly Hallows, I will make you impotent. Don't mess with me.)

humility is a lesson i dont like learning but it needs to be refreshed every once in a while. hopefully this doesnt turn into an entire week of punishment. but i cant help feeling like this isnt going to be over anytime soon.

I found out today that I'm not a racist. This is something I knew already, but now I have proof for all you non-believers. Interesting fact: white people are less racist (towards black people) during the Olympics. Hmmm.....Yeah, I can agree with that. I admit I felt just a little bit too amused when Brady Quinn just kept sitting there (and sitting there) while all the black guys got drafted and his girlfriend looked like she had the most terrible wedgie of all time. (Here she is pulling it out after the poor guy finally got picked):



Wait, why am I talking about sports? I disgust myself. And I apologize. My point is, I'm not a racist. Go me.

I'm just here for the falafel...

C. tells me I have to either change my name or stop capitalizing the A. I won't do it. Capitalism is so in right now.


(Hallo, I'm Ashley. It's nice to meet you!)

statement of intent:

the following is in summary why i am here. i speak solely for myself, and will leave it to her whether or not to fill you on why she may be here.

to anyone who might ever choose to read anything here, you are being forewarned. anything posted here (by me) was probably a mistake. or whilst i was intoxicated. either way, it is for my sick pleasure and whether you ever read or dont read anything here that you might find worthwhile, mean-spirited, uneducated, morose, or so insanely hilarious that you have to immediately share it with your 10 best friends is of no concern to me. whatsoever. what is of concern is that its actually done. there is 110% chance that you will not understand anything written here (once again, speaking for myself only) - mainly because it will probably contain alot of inside commentary that only i and the small circle of people i am around constantly would understand. they themselves will probably never read any of this either because they a)dont know about it b)dont care about it c)dont speak enough english to know what a computer is - some of them im pretty sure even believe that the internet is the work of satan himself. there is a good chance that i will rant and rave about things that only make sense inside my head, and i'll probably use more than my fair chair of fucks shits and sporadically maybe even a cunt or two. feel free to leave comments on what you think - i never check anyway (i check every 5 mins.)

there will probably be many pictures. some old, some new. some might be ones that i have used without the express written permission of anyone. some might have you in them.

i will do my best to be a worthy adversary and/or counterpart to her. she makes me chuckle, and will probably be the brunt end of quite a few unfunny jabs. from what ive seen, her pictures are awesome (except for ones where she has a mustache or going through pollination (i just dont get it)) so hopefully she will share.



there it is. you have been warned. i'll leave it to her for any further explanation she may want to give. just remember - there were never any guarantees.