Potato chips.

First, I have to apologize for leaving you alone with C. for so long. I've been in Pensacola with my family. I think it's a yearly tradition now, which is ok with me, so long as we don't have a repeat of last year's "gather round and tell stories about Grandmama and Grandaddy while everyone cries" episode. My family has a way of making any situation as awkward as possible.



My aunt gave out awards for the weekend. I won "Whitest Woman of 2007". I can't figure out why.



Also, I totally dominated water skiing despite an extreme fear of water. Take that, water. I made you my b*tch.

this dog shit on chase dees. give him a medal now please.

i dont know how many of you know chase. he is the CSKA LONDONER who gets his ass knocked out on fight night. if you dont know him, here is some background. he is a douche. he is a douchebag. he deserves to be shit on. actually shit upon. with real shit. from a real functioning asshole. jager is the only lifeform on earth that is yet to have the balls to actually shit on chase. we salute you jager dog. you who shit on the biggest bag of douche of them all. rock on jager. rock on.

i dont really have anything to follow that up. i thought it was a good statement for the moment. im fat.

i few days ago i was finally blessed, after about a 10 or 12 year wait, to be able to actually record one of the greatest movies of all time onto my dvr. this is without a doubt one of the all time classics - i had to have watched it hundreds of times as a kid. i feel like it might have a been a little before its time - five years later maybe and it could have taken home a few awards. it paved the way for many of todays hits like grind (which honestly i feel was a complete rip off of airborne, so fuck that movie.)


seth green played wiley the crazy cincinnati cousin (crazy meaning total douchebag who had never seen a girl naked - they didn't have the internet back then) and jack black played an overweight jackass, so i guess he found his niche early on.



my only complaint is that the lead character, above with wiley, never followed up with anything after this movie. he just disappeared into bolivia. come on guy - you were the cool cali kid who moved to cincinnati and became the fucking man using your roller blading skills - you were on top of the friggin world. what do you do then? jackfuckingshit. what the hell? fuck you dude for depriving my childhood of an airborne 2 (where i know the plot would have involved you taking back the streets from those fucking skateboard punks - little fucking loiters.)

μ

your driveway totally looks like a lowercase Mu (μ) - which by the way is the coefficient of friction. i think that, somehow, in a round about way, makes you a total ho.

This blog is boring. So is summer.

I'm so bored. I've resorted to checking and re-checking facebook and looking up everything I can think of on GoogleEarth.


Also, I'm pissed because Family Fued Online Party has mysteriously disappeared from my computer. EDIT: Nevermind. Found it. phew.

Maybe I should start studying for comps. :/


To ease my boredom and yours, here is a picture of my mom shooting my nephew in the head with the hose. I think it's funny.

the only thing i could do was to think up the most irrational and childish thoughts in 2 minute period to somehow take up enough page space to remove

any mention or note of harry fuckhead on this space because there is no way in hell i will ever tolerate the enjoyment of a homosexual wannabe wizard and his small circle of asexual asshole comrades. lampshades dishwashers and tricycles. take that and shove it up your ass richard gere. there is no way im letting you leave here with that, and you can take that to the bank. i seen this movie once and they had kids doing drugs in it. it was bad. four score and shut the fuck up already. font size = how much longer does this have to go on? telephone booth - whats the point. there is a pirate duck among us and his name is. anchors away gentlemen, there is much gold in them thar bath waters. i think your bluffing. hulkamania baby. i think motorcycles are stupid. i think people who ride them are stuipder. stupider. cinderella cinderella. i hit this cow in the face once, and it didn't moo at me. i bite my fingernails. lampshade. said that already i guess. ice ice baby - stop collaborate and listen ice is back with my brand new invention something grabs a hold of me tightly then i flow like a harpoon daily and nightly will it ever stop yo i dont know turn off the lights and i'll glow to the extreme i rock a mic like a vandal light up a stage a wax a chump like a candle dance. people say the fucking captain pirate duck will stare at you with his one good eye until you turn to corona which he is also supposedly a huge fan of.


this just in:

amateur sketch of suspected captain pirate duck!!!






i'm not exactly sure about the horns... my anonymous source who wanted to remain my anonymous source kept screaming something about "el diablo el diablo" -
i dont fuckin know.

That's right. I'm posting this and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

I can't even begin to explain how excited I am about the month of July this year! Fireworks, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix the movie, a new nephew, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows the book, and finishing my LAST CLASS OF GRAD SCHOOL! How can one person handle so much in the span of a mere 31 days!? *screamslikea12yearoldgirlataKellyClarksonconcert*





(If any of you punks even THINK about telling me what happens in The Deathly Hallows, I will make you impotent. Don't mess with me.)

humility is a lesson i dont like learning but it needs to be refreshed every once in a while. hopefully this doesnt turn into an entire week of punishment. but i cant help feeling like this isnt going to be over anytime soon.

I found out today that I'm not a racist. This is something I knew already, but now I have proof for all you non-believers. Interesting fact: white people are less racist (towards black people) during the Olympics. Hmmm.....Yeah, I can agree with that. I admit I felt just a little bit too amused when Brady Quinn just kept sitting there (and sitting there) while all the black guys got drafted and his girlfriend looked like she had the most terrible wedgie of all time. (Here she is pulling it out after the poor guy finally got picked):



Wait, why am I talking about sports? I disgust myself. And I apologize. My point is, I'm not a racist. Go me.